Excerpts From: Points. Women have them Men need them

Guys-don’t let your shorts get Crazy-Glued to your tax return....

Sarah Elizabeth Ruth-Davies-Smith quite accidentally crashed Marvin’s new Corvette into a store window. Marvin responded by taping all of her left shoes together and attaching them behind the next city bus that passed. She responded by breaking the little head off of Marvin’s Accounting Trophy. He was so incensed that he retaliated by opening her jars of hypoallergenic makeup, eyeliner, and such and floated said armada in the toilet, whilst slowly engaging the flush handle into gear. He watched gleefully as the fleet circled and disappeared into the vortex.

She, in turn, poured tomato juice over his underwear and clean short sleeve shirts; and he tied her pantyhose into knots; and she sat in the kitchen with the garage door remote and opened and closed the garage door seven hundred times until Dr. Phil  ended and the garage ceiling collapsed; and he took her bed and dragged it into the street until he realized that it was his bed too and dragged it back, but realized that it wouldn’t be his bed after tonight, so he dragged it into the street again and circled it with a ring composed of her bras and undies and set the entire ensemble on fire; and, while he was gone, she Crazy Glued all of his eyeglasses and tax returns to his shorts.

Ladies--have some fun tonight....

Just for fun, try this. When he comes home after a normal day, throw him the cold shoulder and speak only in monosyllabic grunts while using rapid, efficient, hand movements accompanied by an occasional plate banging—not the loving, tender, caressing you that he is accustomed to experiencing.

In about an hour, he will start to spin in small circles and collapse into his chair awaiting your decision as to his fate—whilst knowing that he must have done something, sometime, to deserve whatever sentence you bestow.

Once you are satisfied that you have exorcised all of his guilt, you can restart normal behavior without ever acknowledging the cold shoulder exercise—he will think that he just dodged a bullet and will feel an uplifting feeling of relief and some degree of remorse. It will be a good evening.